Tuesday, January 17, 2017

The 'ole crane game


 Summer 2001, family friend vacationing. More than likely visiting Cedar Pointe. A mini arcade included in the corner of our hotel's lobby. The crane game caught our attention (my buddy and I, shown above). The crane game was our shit. Of course we won. Then it gyped us. The crane pulled a "drop right in front of drop box" bullshit.

      This was unacceptable.

      Verified our arms and hands couldn't reach, even with anything as a prop (which usually worked for us). So we shook it. I don't even remember if we got our prize, because red alarms everywhere started going off. They had to evacuate the hotel.

      All for a shit quality plush toy. 

Sunday, January 15, 2017

The snapchat epidemic

      I'm a tad out of date with the whole snapchat thing. Bitches be wearing cartoon flowers in there hair. Every Facebook profile pic.
      Seriously, go check
So long duck face, hello animated accessories.

Here's my experience

The infamous flower hair
Aside my lil cuz, who ranked #1 in choir! 

I now rep the unrealistic cute deer

My friend and I did an interesting experiment...

We swapped faces.
I look incredibly real...

Can't lie, I'm impressed. 

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Love vs fear

      Is it better to be loved or feared?
"That's a good question. It's great to be both, but it's very difficult. But if I had my choice, I would rather be feared. Fear lasts longer than love."
- Sonny

      They protect you.
      Farmers give you complimentary produce, fresh off the money trees.
      They give a hand when needed.
      A shoulder to cry on.
      A place to call home.
      They support your decisions.
      They laugh at your jokes.
      They listen to your rants.
      They stand by your side.

      They feel obligated to do these things.
Because they fear the outcome of not doing so.
      Or maybe they sincerely want to do these things.
      Because they love you.
      If I had my choice, I'd rather be loved.

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

      This Christmas I got the most amazing gifts. Except the 2000 piece mandala coloring puzzle for my little cousin. No idea how that works, didn't think it through.
      Pup dope soap on a rope for brother & his fiance. Founders of Dope on a rope soap.
      The best of all was from the heart.
A scrapbook for my faja of his mother's childhood - now.
      I've made family scrapbooks but this one was special.

      Because we know nothing of her side of the family.
Thanks to my great grandpa changing his last name...

      Last month my wonderful cousin informed me my grandma's childhood pictures still existed. Gave me prints. Here's a few of my favorites.

One of two pictures of my great grandpa. My grandma on the far right
Notice the smile on his face? It's sincere. Unposed. Pure happiness. I Love it. Rare for the 1920's.

Grandma on the left with her tap shoes. Explains the dancing in my blood.

Does every grandma have a sexy beach pic? Mine do. I'd like to hang them up framed side by side.

       Given a picture of my great grandpa's obituary card too. Obviously
I gave the cemetary a call. Found his grave location, year he died, and his middle name

      Ironically my faja got me a DNA testing kit for christmas. You send it in, tells your ethnicity percentages.

      This will be an excellent 2017 adventure for my family and I.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Patience, it's a virtue

      Destination, psych doc. ETA, ...late. I'd have to wait 3-months to see him if I didnt make it. Fitting in a gas and cigarette stop on the way.

      My man finished getting gas, next comes avoiding rush hour. As we roll out, an unexplainable noise came came along with us. Followed by a car horn. I assumed we got hit. No more delays damnit.
      My man got out, discovering he drove with the car still connected to the gas pump. Then took that shit out, chucked it back, checked the car, no issues. Off we go.

      Then the old dudes

      One blocked the car as the other held the driver door open.
      We both just let them bitch. Looking away pondering. I pondered at least, about the estimated time of arrival. Then I heard one say the word police.

      Hell. No.
      No time.

      I juuuust wanted to skid out. Whispered "...just go".

      Instead, he got out of the car. Screwed the nozzle back on over the broke part of the pump. No gas was leaking so we left. The men still screaming shit we cant understand, but I think they thanked us in a way.

      It took a good 5-minutes before we started laughing, making what just happened not so casual anymore. Now that I think of it, I've only seen that shit in movies.

        We ended up half an hour early to my appointment. The doc was running behind. I sat a good 60-minutes in the waiting room.

      Patience. It's a virtue.

Monday, October 24, 2016

Micaela & Micaela Halloween talk

*While dancing in front of the mirror to the ABC'S on her boom box.*

Micaela, Halloween is coming up!

Yes it is mini me, do you know what you're gonna be?

A fire fighter!

Huh. Cool dude.

What are you going to be?

Dunno kid. Maybe a mermaid...but I mean...I'm supposed to be something, like, dead. Or a monster. Scary ya know?

A dead mermaid?

.....girrrrrl. That'd be tough. But maybe.

*While checking out of the pretend grocery store*

You still being a fire fighter for Halloween lil miss?

No, I'm being a police officer!

Ohh, sweet....

You're being a dead mermaid!?

You know it. 

*While walking her to the library*

So lil miss, you decide for Halloween yet?

I want to be Wonder Woman!

Stopped that stroller real quick

....yes...uhm. How did you hear about Wonder Woman???

She's a super hero, like daddy!

      Took our daily adventure to the library. 
      Told the librarian, checked out every Wonder Woman book in the kids section. 

      Told mini me I'd help make her costume. That all the kids her age will be peppa pig, paw patrol characters, or princesses while she's going to stand out.  Even went to the extent of stating she may get more candy for it. 
      In he end, she's being a fire fighter...her preschool doesn't allow any super hero related clothes in general. Today I may bring some supplies to make her a Wonder Woman costume while telling the story of her. 
      Maybe that will influence her to wear it trick or treating. 

      What 3-year-old in 2016 knows of Wonder Woman!? She hasn't even been in the recent DC movies. 

Still contemplating what I'm going to be...
      Any suggestions? 

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Cooking and Spanish with Dr.Seuss

Told my man Friday I was trying a new recipe for dinner. He came home to this.

*Insert picture of cooked green eggs and Ham on the stove, aside the book here*
Or click here to see actual picture.

I had made actual dinner, sitting on counter.

      Also, I've been Micaela's nanny still. After school and the break for Jewish holiday's recently. Been keeping up with my teachings of Dr.Seuss of course. To my surprise, I came across a bin of his books. Told Micaela it's story time. Surprised again after noticing they were all in Spanish. I only read Green Eggs and Ham since I've memorized it in English. " Huevos verdes con jamón" 
      Soon I'll be able to express negative feelings towards green eggs and ham in Spanish. All I have memorized is "Juan Roman" (Sam I am). She totally listened to the book as I spoke in my horrible Spanish attempt. I can't roll my tongue worth shit.