Monday, August 31, 2015

Mad tea party

            Yet again I fell down the rabbit hole. I don't know why, but every time I fall I wander off. Life might be horrifying right now but I don't want a pity party, I want a tea party. The tea down here is bitter, and the host is indeed a mad man. As overwhelming as it is, I've been attending this party quite some time. Could've been on my way awhile ago, but I fear I'll only become more lost.

      I'm sure I'll be on my way soon. This time I pray I'm on my way back to the bottom of the hole, where I initially fell. You'll know you're there when you look up. The shining light of reality motivates you to find a way out. Climbing your way out is nearly impossible, and a friend can only reach so far to assist you. The last thing you want is to have them fall too.

Monday, August 24, 2015

Hair and horoscopes

      Horoscope is an old Greek saying translating to "time marker".  Your zodiac sign is given depending on the alignment of the moon, stars, and sun at the time of birth. Known commonly as a sign from Heaven. What I didn't know, was your zodiac sign can also determine the best hair for you.

      As an Aquarius i'll admit I'm witty, open-minded, yet have very low self esteem. Pity party anyone? Since I was a child people have told me I'm a "funny person". One summer as a kid, my friend's running buddy told me "you should be a comedian!". Never forgot that. The issue with that occupation, I usually don't try to be funny…
      I keep an open mind, without letting my brains fall out. Remember, there's three sides to every story. Yours, mine, and the truth.  
      Confident? I'm pretty damn fearless. Walking around metro and downtown Detroit at ridiculous hours. Really anywhere walking around at 3am is sketchy.

People call me crazy. I call it fearless. 

      My good hair day is when it's voluminous and flowing free. 
      Couldn't agree more. 

      My brilliant tip is to inspire others with a dramatic darker color. 
Couldn't disagree more. 

      As a natural red-head, it's too much maintaince to go for another color. From our invisible eyelashes to skin's just too much.

mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all? Gingers.

            If you're into hair coloring, you can take the hair dye advisor quiz. Personally I don't dye my hair anymore, but I still took the quiz. My results? Auburn red How ironic. 

      In the past Ive dyed my hair black, and after went to blonde after (yes, I'm that stupid).  Madison Reed is the reason my hair is now healthy and back to it's natural color again. Whelp, as a hair color provider they do provide maximum protection! 

Find out your Hair-O-Scope click here
Take the Hair dye advisor quiz click here
Be sure to follow Madison Reed on twitter for hair advice, updates, and products!


Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Post apocalyptic photoshoot

      Imagine living in a post apocalyptic world. Complete chaos from the start. Tragic loss of many loved ones. Money no longer has any value, and you'll most likely have property damage. Whatever created the disaster minimizes chances  survival.

       I watched this hour special on the Discovery  channel "Top 10 ways the world will end" or some shit. Second was a plague outbreak. The most likely way that'd start is by some asshole chemists working with biological warfare unintenitionally spreading a lethal virus, creating a pandemic. The virus could be an organism that isn't universally considered alive, and continues to reproduce or replicate within their host. A zombie panademic is realistic. Don't get your hopes up though. 

      The plague could be an epidemic outbreak (HIV, anthrax, Ebola, smallpox, plague fleas). The outbreak starts in one region. By spreading the disease internationally it can be a weapon of war. Creating a pandemic outbreak overtime. Plague fleas (Black Plague), and anthrax (Sent in mail internationally) are two well known examples.

           Amazing pool brought to you by my girl Josie. She had previous owners who neglected it. Personally love it. We caught a lil' frog in the swamp! She plans to eventually drain it and use it to skateboard with buddies. 

Monday, August 17, 2015

Summer time, the livin's easy

        Coming out of the psych ward last summer was finding the glimpse of light, the way out of the rabbit hole. This summer I climbed my way out. 

      Last summer around this time I was fresh out of the psych ward. Everything seemed more realistic. Including coming home to my brother's wonderful flea now distanced junkie buddy, brother, a black dude we know, and myself tore the carpet out. Ditched the furniture, sprayed down the house. Let's just say he no longer has a flea problem. On the contrary, I still only focused on helping others and no occupation. 

      This summer I'm living in my own home.Three days a week I babysit two adorable toddler girls. My hooping skills have improved, and I had an offer for three gigs. In the above picture you'll see the amazing friend I met this summer. Currently training her to hoop dance. A man as crazy as myself in different ways came into my life, stole my heart, and brought me to reality. 

Saturday, August 15, 2015


      When life gives you lemons, you sell that shit to the junk yard for $200. Now a functioning car with no gas is like a relationship with no trust. You can stay in it all you want, but it's not going to go anywhere. Life could be perfect...but some things you just can't get around.  Like used cars and bad livers. 

      Recently life gave me actual lemons with no sugar. Only made me sour and created tears. I can't explain much, but I pray for freedom everyday. At least appreciate yours everyday.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

I'm bring sanity back

      All my life I had never realized how psychology ill I am. Disability contacted me. Enough said. My mother has been doing her best to have me apply for the disability. I refused because I didn't want to be a typical lazy housewife. 

      I have no children, so I feel all I'd do is clean and maintain the yard. People can have a full time job and maintain the household. So I should be able to too, right? Well if that's the case, why the hell am I swallowing myself in self pity chain smoking? 

      My significant other George Glass told me i wouldn't be taking advantage of it because I'm lazy. That it's there for people like myself to take advantage of. Maybe it took me months to come to that realization, but that's okay. George Glass read my hospitalization records, and said "Well that's an accurate diagnosis". 

      My diagnosis'
- Bipolar disorder
- Polysubstance dependence 
- Oppositional defiant disorder. My dad did always say I'm a rebel without a clue
- Anxiety 
- Rule out conduct disorder 
- Cutting & general self infliction

      Once you're discharged from a psych ward the only thing on your mind is freedom. Therefore You don't give a fuck about the papers they discharge you with. If my mother hadnt hung onto those papers, they'd be long gone in the trash. Thank God she didn't. After reading my diagnosis I catch my delusional thought, I'm eating healthy. I've been in denial my whole life...

      My mother is the strongest person I know. She has always been by my side. Every manic episode in the ER, never failed to visit me after I was admitted. I destroyed her home...I have flipped shit over the fact we only had jiffy pop when I wanted microwaveable popcorn. My mother is in terror from all I've done to her. Everybody who can deal with my crazy ass, they witness my episodes. It's never long before they can't take anymore and want nothing to do with me. My mother has always done her best to help me. 

      Mom I don't know if you read my blog much, but I'm sorry for all I've done to you. I'm sorry for terrorizing you. I cry when I get flashbacks, and pray you get to live the happy life you've always deserved. if it wasn't for you I'd be a manic mess or just like my cousin Jeremy. Thank you, I love you mom and I'm sorry for all I've put you through. 

Friday, August 7, 2015

DethSpun Etsy review

       Thanks to DethSpun I have this outer space bunny hula hooping picture, and it's out of this world (pun intended). I gave one to my hooping buddy, and put one on my wall next to my beastie boys bumper sticker
      The quality of the sticker can be used on a car as well Note the shop owner has never clarified this. All art is completely hand drawn. Stickers are only $1.00 each!

Be sure to check out Dethspun on Etsy. Affordable gifts, strange cat humor. stationary, magnets, clothing, and much more! Click the link at the top of this review to go directly to the shop. Like a product shown? ? Click on the picture. 

Saturday, August 1, 2015


      I'm not even sure how many weeks ago this was, but it's the last time I was sincerely happy. It's that time of the year the crazies come out to play. I've yet again fallen down the rabbit hole. Though this time when I look up I don't see a peep hole of reality. This time I must have been as dumb as Alice and decide to wander off. At least I can say I know I'm lost.