Thursday, January 7, 2016

I thought grandmas lived forever


      Cancer seems to kill the Angels. Above is my younger cousin Angelika aside my grandma at the campground a few years ago. When I was a kid my grandmother fought and beat breast cancer. Her sister recently battled and beat breast cancer (my great aunt). Years later she was diagnosed with brain, bone, and I believe liver cancer as well. This woman never smoked, drank heavily, she was always healthy. That's why I believe cancer kills the Angels. Emphazemia kills those who brought it to themselves. 



      My mother and her four siblings requested they not tell the time she has left. Hospice came shortly after. The last night I saw her she was non responsive. She could still hear. I touched her arm and told her I loved her. My hands are always freezing, so she had to have heard me. I've never seen somebody so dead in the eyes. 

      I'm nervous to see my mother cry tomorrow at the funeral. That's when I have to swallow my pity and show my pride. 
     I'm writing this 45-minutes before I'm leaving to the showing. Something I feel more confident handling. 



      Grandma, you made the best scrambled eggs. Before you even thought death was near you were already an angel. Everybody loves you, hence you have no enemies. Say hi to Jeremy and Alexander for me. Your middle name is always with me. Micaela Marlene is beautiful. We love you. 

8 comments:

  1. I'm sorry for your loss *internet-hugs*

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  2. I am so sorry girl. Lost my gma (mom's mom) Aug 31, 2012 so this year will be 4 years and it doesnt even seem that long. Just remember to keep her memories in your heart and she will always be with you sweetie. looking forward to hearing from you. Sending love and prayers to all of ya'll. *xoxo*

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    1. Thanks. I'm sorry you lost yours as well.

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  3. Great post! :)
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  4. So sorry for your loss! I only have one living grandparent. It kind of sucks that I had no grandparents at my wedding two years ago. Time just moves incredibly fast when we get older and it is so unfair. I hope you are healing. Lots of hugs!!

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    1. My only living grandparent is my grandpa now. We both won't share our lives getting married, having children, etc with them. I'm sorry for yours too, even if it was long ago.

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