Sunday, February 28, 2016

Weekend with the longboard

      This past weekend, my man and I got to take a glide on my new beaut of a longboard. I told you cliche longboarding in the sunset photos were coming. Due to the cloudy weather, I wasn't able to be that cliche. 

      Longboards are more of a relaxing experience than skateboarding. More control and balance. Less momentum needed. Gliding at a faster pace is easier and more of a relaxing workout than core like skating

      It's like a baby surf board on wheels. Yes, I still managed to fly off. Only once. Promise. 

      He got his first app. Besides Plants vs Zombies...and Plant vs Zombies 2. Surprisingly he used the board more than myself while at the park. Watching him fight the wind was priceless, he won though.

      I told you it was windy. Apparently my hair makes my smiles in the wind. How'd your weekend go?

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Little rock store

      It's tough finding punk and rock clothing for our munchkins. Sure, you can find a Misfits or Bob Marley screen printed shirt size 4T. Thanks to little rock store, you can find official certified band merchandise for kids of all ages and sizes. They even have mommy/daddy & me marching band t-shirts. As many of you know, I'm not a mother. I am a child-care provider with many younger cousins to care for. Little rock store was kind enough to send me a complimentary kids clothing piece for one of those munchkins.

      My 8-year-old cousin Angelika loves this Bob Marley zip-up track jacket style sweater. It's a size 7 (kids) made with 100% organic cotton. Comfy fit and comfy sweater. Angelika can vouch, as she was home sick when she received the present. Not too sick to model though which she was having loads of fun doing. 
      "Wait, I get to keep this AND be a model for it!?"

      Yes, Angelika. Now strike a pose. 

      You can see the side shows authenticity, as well as the back just above Marley's portrait shown in above picture. This lovely piece is orange with a brown trim and zipper. We've got a little rasta child over here. The collar can be fully zipped for neck warmth on those "I'm wearing a pony tail" days. It's just thick enough for those windy days. 

      As you can see, she loves her new sweater. I'm now in love with the shop for multiple reasons. Fast international shipping, 100% authentic band attire, and reasonable prices. You can get your munchkin this same hoodie for just over $30. If you'd like a matching sweater they have adult options too. When choosing I almost got suckered into the matching Metallica T-shirts. Thank you Little Rock Store, from both Angelika and myself

      Check out Little Rock Store only found online for yourself. What's your favorite clothing piece? 

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Getting rid of Goldie Locks

      This was taken summer 2013. Had just chopped my hair off and dyed it blonde. Summer 2014 it was about shoulder length. My natural red had grown back with frizzy blonde ends. That summer wasn't the best. Went from weighing 120lbs to 180lbs before summer came. Got stuck an hour away from home with an ex living in the middle of shack town. The block knew I was a crazy and knew better than to bother me.

      My self confidence was so low it hardly existed. So, I chopped off the blonde ends and kept my hair up since it looked horrible with all the straight cut layers (see above picture)After showers I avoided any heat damage by air drying and not straightening. By the time I managed to get back home, my natural hair was just below my shoulders and I had lost 30lbs. 

      To this day I air dry my hair and avoid heat damage. A couple days ago was the first time straightening my hair in months. Never realized how much more length straightening shows. Now it's lovely, long, and naturally red again. Crazy what heat and dye can do to destroy our locks.

      Maybe getting my hair back took some time, but I didn't use any of those scam products for "hair growth in a month" or Mane n' Tail shampoo. If you treat your hair good, it will look good. Do you have any natural hair growth secrets?

Monday, February 22, 2016

Longboards and soul sistas

      The day after my birthday I received this from my man. We checked out a local shop at an outdoor mall nearby. It was all local Detroit artists artwork, with business cards for each. I've been wanting a longboard quite sometime now. If they don't have locks on them (Fuck you Target), I'll be riding one around the store browsing. Apparently it's been duly noted. As he got the artists business card and went back to get me this baby. I'll credit the artist when I find the information on how you can check them out.  Just saying, I'll have cliche longboarding in the sunset pictures coming this spring. No, no I'm kidding, hopefully not. 

      I finally made the winner of Detroit Circus Freaks group on Facebook her first hula hoop. Actually grew up in the same small town with her. Didn't realize until after she gave me her shipping address. Now we're planning to meet up so I can tell her my secrets as a magician. I mean, how to hula hoop and dance. Same thing when it comes to the illusions. So when I teach, I have my grasshoppers catch on for themselves now on. 

      Soul sista Sally Mae was spotted by my man and I at a dollar store where nothing's a dollar. We went back after not purchasing her, and the bitch went on sale twice. Hahaha. So she was a dollar. Who in the hell made this thing? The 2-year-old I sit for is in that "I'm repeating everything you tell me" phase. She's also taken an interest in African American baby dolls. I can't wait for her to ask where Soul Sista is one day as they're walking in. I can't imagine how her parents would think at that moment. I just realized they added me on Facebook, so they probably know what there in for. 

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Dreams vs fears

      If you're a reader of mine already, you know I've been building my performing arts portfolio. My first gig was just a few weeks ago. I don't want to be famous, I just want to dance. My dream is basically to become a professional circus freak. 

      If this were told to me as a child, I only wonder how I'd feel about that

      Honestly I've always wanted to perform for a living. 12-years of dance wasn't just shit and giggles to me. Okay fine, one year I hated Jazz/Lyrical and did my best to avoid it. Why did I avoid it? Fear. I felt too fat since puberty hit me before the other 11-year-olds. Tonight I have my second gig. Why am I blogging and not practicing? Fear. Not of the crowd watching. Stage fright hardly phases me. The crowd still does, as I've gained a bit of enemies and don't carry a weapon on me. 

      If only I could own a bladed hoop. All I know is this bitch right here, she beats ninjas with her hoop. Also that she's from some game called Soul Caliber. I don't play video games

      That's not my only fear. What if somebody in the crowd is a more advanced hoop dancer, and tries coming on stage to one up me? Kinda like this 18-year-old who attempted stealing the crowd by jumping on the pole my first gig. "My tricks are better than yours". She successfully failed. 

      That's not all. My man doesn't seem to want to attend any of them. Not because he doesn't support me, but he doesn't like the environment or at least me in the environment. I fear a fight. 

      Tonight is my second gig, and I'm not sure if I'm going to attend. The area and crowd aren't my biggest fear this time. It's another episode with my man that I fear. I just want to be happy, but I also want him to be happy

      What would you do? 

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

The number 23

      My ma got me these lovely pastries from a local bakery. Because today I turned 23. I feel old (shut up). She also got me a few things in a cute reusable Frozen themed bag. 

      I love collecting perfume samples. The euphoria is a very classy scent. Not too much of the smell of the old lady section in Church. Gucci was a sweet classy. Escade was a more fresh scent. I'll most likely be switching from my empty BeyoncĂ© perfume to Gucci. 

      I also got some lovely nail polish. I'm obsessed with mascara, hair, and nail polish. This shade is Mardi Gras by SINFULSHINE. Which happens to be made in the USA. Enough for me to love. You only need two coats for a slick shine.  

      I didn't expect anything, so I find it sweet my ma got me some things. She also got a "Red Poppy" scented candle. I've taken a recent obsession with candles. Told you I was getting old. Now finishing the day off cleaning and organizing. Can't complain. Clearly I'm an Aquarius. What's your sign?

Monday, February 15, 2016

Silhouette dance

The whole silhouette dancing with a hoop shows the illusion much cleaner. Not as clean as my kitchen (messy lightened room in background). Once I can afford a videographer, a silhouette setting is definitely on the list. 
This particular hoop seems to look beautiful inside, outside, under black lights, in the friggen's my baby. You can find one yourself on Etsy. The Hoop Smiths sapphire sunset hoop.

The random classic rock song on the radio seemed to work out nicely too! 

Sunday, February 14, 2016

A dozen roses for a ginger

      This Valentine's Day I woke up alone. About half-hour later my man comes in with Tim Hortons (we're obsessed) and a dozen roses. 

      There's 11-roses shown. As I take one out for my collection of each bouquet he gives me

      What did I get for him? It's difficult shopping for men. He's been super stressed lately, and mentioned how he wants to get a puzzle. So I got him dark chocolate (it's good for the heart) and a 1000 piece zombie puzzle. 

      He's also an Aquarius. 

      Hope you all have a lovely Valentine's Day.

Friday, February 12, 2016


      Last night I took a trip to the ER. My significant other really didn't want to take me since he'd miss me, but knew it's best he brought me. As you can see, they didn't make me undress until a good hour. I signed in with concern of medication regulation. During my psych evaluation I made it clear I'd like to get a new psychiatrist, my meds back on schedule, and figure out my recent horrible med shift. He said I didn't meet qualifications for inpatient. Which would be a success of its own, if I hadn't lied...

      Maybe I lied about suicidal thoughts. Maybe I lied about the slash on my leg saying it was from home repair. Maybe I hid the scars all over my thighs and arms. Maybe I should be in the hospital still...but I chose to leave out all information besides my med regulation concern. If you've been in a similar position you know damn well I'm not going to sit and beg to be admitted. 

      My man decided to take "up the nostril" pictures to keep me in a good mood. Preventing me from freaking out wanting to leave before the evaluation. 

      My current goal is to get a temporary script from my primary phascian, and seek a psychiatrist I can get in with as soon as possible. I pray my mania doesn't get the best of me and I make it through my lack of meds. 

      I'm rather open on my blog. If you sense mania, feel free to comment about my shifts within posts. This could make me snap back to reality. The near future most likely won't be personal. Writing on specific topics can help keep my mind off negative energy. I'll keep my mental health updated. Whether it be good or bad.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016



      Every year since the age of 14 I've been admitted into a psych ward. 2015 was the only year I luckily avoided being taken in. The whole process of waiting in the ER for a psych evaluation, wondering when you can go home and have a cigarette, concluding with mania from being admitted beyond my own will is a living nightmare

      This year is the first I can honestly say I'm willingly admitting myself

      I'm scared
      I already miss what I won't have
      Valentine's Day is 5-days away. My birthday is 8-days away. How long will I be away? 

      When I'm discharged I'll be posting about my mental health, and how this 'round went. I'm still in shock it's only hours away until I'm doing this....

Sunday, February 7, 2016

My first gig dancing

      Last night was my first official gig performing with my hoop. A small bar about an hour south of here Smartycatz had a night where DJ Blackmamba opened (who I & her gogo dancer perform for), following Prophet Ecks of Wax Kings.

 It was nice to just flow with my hoop and not need a choreographed routine. Blackmamba I met at my cousins party where I was dancing in the crowd. She's always been one to make the environment positive and always has a smile on her face. 

      The bar supplied an LED hoop which happened to be a MoodHoop! My LED MoodHoop is heavy weight so I can't use it much. I brought along a day MoodHoop and my beauty from The Hoop Smiths. Which took amazing pictures in the lighting!

      My man got upset and wouldn't come with me. He dropped me off pissed. Picked me up pissed. It hurt he didn't come to my first gig, but it was still an amazing enjoyable experience.

      The gogo dancer is a vibrant young lady who specializes in belly dancing. I love this picture of my awkward stance while she danced. 

      People were indeed amazed with my flow arts. Many wanted a picture with me! Some even "introduced" me to the DJ I performed for. Which was amusing considering each time she'd explain we are already acquainted. It was great performing in a bar fully clothed, using nothing but my hoop, and getting compliments on my dancing instead of my physical appearance.

      DJ Blackmamba

      The two performers for the night
      I've been wanting to start my performing arts portfolio quite sometime now. I've had opportunities this past summer to perform. Couldn't take advantage due to medical reasons. Last night was great, even if my significant other didn't come. 

Friday, February 5, 2016

Flint water crisis

      About an hour away from home lays the city of Flint, MI. After switching from Detroit's water supply to the Flint river, aging pipes began to leach lead. Corrupting the water supply.

      The dark blue dot is where I reside. Flint, the lighter shade.

       The issue has gone into federal hands. Hilary Clinton plans to take a visit for an additional helping hand. No matter my political views I feel she's showing a big heart, and motivation to help our country. That's women for you

      Between 6,000 - 12,000 children were found with high levels of lead in their blood. Public health hazard could result in an intense outbreak of an atypical pneumonia. Pregnant women and children are still required to drink bottled water. Though the city claims only one home is currently affected after action was taken. 

      This has been going on since April of 2014! It wasn't until recently the state took action. My initial thought was a possible terrorist attack. For all we know it very well could be, as the risk of public panic would rise if told "the truth". This hasn't been stated by any officials but simply my conspiracy theory.

      My thoughts go out to those affected, worrying, and dealing with financial issues from the outbreak. The outbreak that should have been handled two-years ago

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Hula hoop progress | February sunshine

Finally another hula hoop progress video! 
Watch. Criticize. Comment
This was taken the first or second of this month. It's amazing how beautiful the weather is for February! On the contrary, it's rather windy with snow beginning to fall finally. If only I had my own personal dance studio...

I'd love to hear if any parts lost your attention, grasped your attention, and any other feedback.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Let's smile truthfully

      Dial soap now comes in Hello Kitty scent? Yes please. Looks beautifully in my bathroom. Alongside my dead fish soap holder.

      I don't touch politics, but this...

      As Audrey Hepburn once said, "Happy girls are the prettiest". Apparently happy Hitlers are the prettiest too. I'd actually enjoy doing this as a photography and psychology experiment. 

      Check out Artistic World for hacks to boost your life esteem, and get your life back (or on track)

Monday, February 1, 2016

February hula hooping | Sapphire Sunset

      My new beautiful hula hoop
Purchased from The Hoop Smiths
      Using 5/8" Polypro sapphire sunrise hoop
     Look at the way it shines in the sunlight. Dancing has been part of my life since I was a toddler. A little ballerina. Eventually a teen ballerina. Now that I've discovered circus arts, hula hoop dancing has captured my heart. Yesterday's weather was gorgeous for early February. Therefore I spent some time outside dancing (of course)!
      Here's a few shots to share

      I'll be sure to share a video update soon!